Joy! Google Glass app tells you how other people are feeling

Emotient releases an app that will surely help retailers learn more about customers in their stores. But couldn't it help those wearing Google Glass learn more about what others feel about people wearing Google Glass?

If you happen to believe that Google Glass is a fine idea in search of a use, I have finally found one for you.

For a wise and forward-thinking company called Emotient has created a Google Glass app that tells you how other people are feeling.

One of the characteristics of many Google Glass Explorers is that they seem not to care a whit what others might feel.

They become disoriented when, say, asked to leave a restaurant for refusing to remove their goggles.

How thoughtful, then, of Emotient to release its "Sentiment Analysis" prototype app.

Actually, it's not quite so thoughtful. Emotient seems to have corporations in my mind, rather than people. (Yes, I know corporations are people too, but they generally don't have feelings.)

In a press release, Emotient's CEO Ken Denman expressed himself like this: "It's a breakthrough technology that allows companies to aggregate customer sentiment by processing facial expressions anonymously. We believe there is broad applicability for this service to improve the customer experience, particularly in retail."

The software allegedly processes the finest elements of people's faces and deduces what they're really saying.

You'll be wondering whether this fine software records you secretly and keeps your image on file. Allegedly not. The idea is merely to produce some kind of aggregate emotion.

Yes, your store might be under-performing because everyone who walks in there immediately feels angry and miserable. So paint the walls bright purple!

Still, how much more helpful this software would be if individual Google Glassers could gauge the sentiment of those around them.

Human misinterpretation is reaching epidemic, dangerous levels. No one understands anyone else, least of all Google Glassers.

Please imagine how society would benefit if a Glasser walked into a bar and realized: "Oh, these people are angry. These people are disgusted. Ergo, these people think I'm a Glasshole."